Weekly Dispatch, 12/19/10
"Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it." Bruce Lee
The headline reads, "A Fate That Narcissists Will Hate: Being Ignored." That's from the New York Times online from 11/29/2010. The article highlights narcissistic personality disorder, among 4 other personality disorders, that as of this time may be left out of the DSM V as decided by the committee that is reviewing the Axis II diagnoses.
I did not mention this article to start a clinical debate, but to introduce the real issue I wish to address. You see, the problem with personalities is that everybody has one. The only question is how much one allows his/her personality to get in the way!
Personality, perhaps more than any other quality, is cited most often as being either the best or worst quality of whoever is the topic of gossi-, um, I mean conversation, at the time.
It can be the deal-maker, or breaker, when it comes to asking or being asked out for a second or subsequent date. It can be a conduit or a roadblock when one is trying to communicate a point.
Genetics is often cited as the excuse for a flawed personality ("His mother/father/aunt's niece's cousin twice removed is exactly the same way.") Nature vs. nurture argument aside, personality is the unique element of one's being that sets that person apart from all other people.
Stephen Covey writes of the shift from a Personality-centered to a Character-centered paradigm in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. No matter how satisfied you or others are with your personality, it takes more than having a game-show host persona to get ahead and be successful. It takes having substance in the form of principles and values that are nonnegotiable.
This time of year is dedicated to intentionally gathering with at least a certain number of people whose personalities grate on our psyches like nails on a chalkboard. It would help us to remember that vulnerabilities are easily masked behind negative personality traits designed to protect from memories, thoughts, or conversations that are hurtful or even harmful. So don't let anyone get to you- look through to the substance underneath and remember the things that are most important this holiday season.
Merry Christmas,
Glen
(For the NYT article mentioned, go to http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/30/health/views/30mind.html?_r=2)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
A note for Sunday morning, 12/19/10
Discovering your ministry gifts?
Remember the acronym DOORS:
Remember the acronym DOORS:
D= Desire: “Here am I, Send me!” (Isa. 6:8)
O= Obedience: “Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel…” (Mark 16:15)
O= Opportunity: “A man’s gift maketh room for him…” (Prov. 18:16)
R= Respect: “Walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called…” (Eph. 4:1)
S= Sovereignty of God: “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance…” (Rom. 11:29)
(form a presentation I made on Wed. night, 9/24/08 at Beech Bluff UPC called "Laboring Lambs".)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Weekly Dispatch, 12/12/10
My weekly email of encouragement to my team at Youth Villages...
Passion vs. Compassion
Just a thought- we can get so wrapped up in chasing after what we want the most that we, well, step on other people... I dunno, maybe? I think it happens.
I've always been fascinated by the similarity of the two words in my title, since they are the same except for three letters.
They seem totally unrelated, though, at least in our modern ways of looking at them. But by definition, they are very similar. The tiny difference, however,
should make all the difference.
Passion- to suffer.
Compassion- to suffer together.
That's it, that one word- together. Makes all the difference.
Now, passion today typically describes something that one wants so badly that it is ached for- time, money, effort, nothing means more than obtaining that
object or state-of-being that is one's "passion."
Compassion typically means identifying with someone's sufferings and aching to relieve that suffering, with total abandon for all else, until the need is met.
How are we to apply all of this? Simply, there has to be a balance between the level of passion and compassion in each of our lives.
Too much passion- ambition at the expense of relationships.
Too much compassion- relationship at the expense of motivation to achieve.
I think one of the greatest gifts we can offer anyone is the example of our passion to do great things, things that will live on long after any of us are gone.
That means we have to take time for ourselves and cultivate passion.
But it also takes time and effort to relate to those we work with and live with, to help them cultivate a passion in their hearts for something more than themselves.
To give them a leg up or a helping hand, and then watch them take off on their own, knowing that they will do the same for someone else down the road.
Happy trails,
Glen
Passion vs. Compassion
Just a thought- we can get so wrapped up in chasing after what we want the most that we, well, step on other people... I dunno, maybe? I think it happens.
I've always been fascinated by the similarity of the two words in my title, since they are the same except for three letters.
They seem totally unrelated, though, at least in our modern ways of looking at them. But by definition, they are very similar. The tiny difference, however,
should make all the difference.
Passion- to suffer.
Compassion- to suffer together.
That's it, that one word- together. Makes all the difference.
Now, passion today typically describes something that one wants so badly that it is ached for- time, money, effort, nothing means more than obtaining that
object or state-of-being that is one's "passion."
Compassion typically means identifying with someone's sufferings and aching to relieve that suffering, with total abandon for all else, until the need is met.
How are we to apply all of this? Simply, there has to be a balance between the level of passion and compassion in each of our lives.
Too much passion- ambition at the expense of relationships.
Too much compassion- relationship at the expense of motivation to achieve.
I think one of the greatest gifts we can offer anyone is the example of our passion to do great things, things that will live on long after any of us are gone.
That means we have to take time for ourselves and cultivate passion.
But it also takes time and effort to relate to those we work with and live with, to help them cultivate a passion in their hearts for something more than themselves.
To give them a leg up or a helping hand, and then watch them take off on their own, knowing that they will do the same for someone else down the road.
Happy trails,
Glen
A note for Sunday morning, 12/12/10
I am only in the beginning stages of studying this out, but I am excited and want to present what I have as I have it.
As a believer who is called to the ministry of the Word and also called of God to interact with the world as a professional (social worker), I have thought and prayed about the spiritual ministry of the believer who is not called to full-time church ministry. I know God wants us to bring the lost “in,” but I also truly believe that we are called to minister through the work of our hands, hearts, and minds as we apply them to daily labor through employment. This gets hard to do in many professional contexts as many businesses and professions are hostile to workers sharing the Gospel openly.
I believe there is a biblical model for looking at how we minister in the workplace and in the world, and the following thoughts come together from that.
The true believers in Christ make up a priesthood that is God’s corps of grace-bringers on Earth. 1 Peter 2 is a good starting point for studying this out. Much of what Peter describes in the chapter concerning believers can be seen in the priesthood of Aaron and his descendants.
2:5- “… an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices…” Our praise to God in life and on the job is a demonstration of offering spiritual sacrifices: "…a royal priesthood… that ye should show for the praises of him…” (2:9).
2:11- “I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims…” The tribe of Levi, and the children of Aaron, had no inheritance among their brothers. They had only cities of refuge. We are that way among the lost of this world.
2:12- “Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by [your] good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.” The work of the priest was an example seen by everyone. It is good and holy work that will glorify God in on the last day.
Exodus 29 describes the garments, preparation, and anointing of the priests. The priests were anointed to carry out a redemptive work- ministering the statutes of God while exhorting the people to be closer to God. Gal 6:1 calls for those who are spiritual to restore those who have stumbled in a fault. The high priest performed the atonement year after year for the sins of all the people. Christ prayed on the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
This is an introduction to the priesthood of believers, and I hope will jump start some thinking on each of our parts as to how we are carrying out Christ’s work in the world today.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Unity
Christian unity is often misunderstood, in my opinion. Unity does not say, "Why can't we just get along?" Unity says, "When we don't get along, we are still together because we are bound to something greater than us."
I use the word "bound" quite literally. Consider Eph. 4:3: "Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
"Unity of the Spirit" is not unity within the Spirit; this same chapter goes on to say there is only one Spirit. "Unity" is literally "agreement" or "unanimity", meaning that we have a unanimous agreement with the Spirit of God. this is a believer's contract with the Holy Spirit.
"In the bond of peace" refers to a binding together with peace that is like the sinews that bind muscle to bone and make togetherness and function possible in the human body. The Spirit's contract is to be kept in the bonds of love, fellowship, togetherness, brotherhood, and all things that lead to peace.
There are no lone wolf Christ-followers. My personal covenant with Christ is demonstrated in my peaceable attachment to the Body of Christ. The Spirit contract leads to right relationship with all of God's other children. "By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another," John 13:35.
There are consequences in our relationships for breaking the Spirit contract. More to come.
(Blue Letter Bible. "Paul's Epistle - Ephesians 4:3 - (KJV - King James Version)." Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2010. 10 Dec 2010. < http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=4&t=KJV >)
copyright December 10, 2010 by Glen Gaugh
I use the word "bound" quite literally. Consider Eph. 4:3: "Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
"Unity of the Spirit" is not unity within the Spirit; this same chapter goes on to say there is only one Spirit. "Unity" is literally "agreement" or "unanimity", meaning that we have a unanimous agreement with the Spirit of God. this is a believer's contract with the Holy Spirit.
"In the bond of peace" refers to a binding together with peace that is like the sinews that bind muscle to bone and make togetherness and function possible in the human body. The Spirit's contract is to be kept in the bonds of love, fellowship, togetherness, brotherhood, and all things that lead to peace.
There are no lone wolf Christ-followers. My personal covenant with Christ is demonstrated in my peaceable attachment to the Body of Christ. The Spirit contract leads to right relationship with all of God's other children. "By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another," John 13:35.
There are consequences in our relationships for breaking the Spirit contract. More to come.
(Blue Letter Bible. "Paul's Epistle - Ephesians 4:3 - (KJV - King James Version)." Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2010. 10 Dec 2010. < http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Eph&c=4&t=KJV >)
copyright December 10, 2010 by Glen Gaugh
Sunday, December 5, 2010
A note for Sunday morning, 12/5/10
A lot of time and attention is focused on teaching and discussing the roles of biblical church leaders and ministry offices mentioned in the New Testament, such as the five-fold ministry offices, as well as bishops, deacons, and elders. Apostolic ministry depends greatly on the operation of these gifts and the biblical application of authority.
However, the real question is who should be the focus? Is the church's role to produce outstanding apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers? Most certainly, the church that is alive and producing fruit will identify and train those upon whom these gifts and callings rest. But the mandate to the church is to create disciples, or saints, and I think we sometimes turn the picture upside down and backwards.
Consider this: The word "saint" or "saints" appears in the Bible 101 times in the King James version of the Bible, with definitions including holy, holy one, pious, godly, and good. The book of Psalms has the most mentions of the word "saints", as this is the group that is exhorted over and over again to worship and fear God throughout the holy songs of Israel.
While I am not Catholic, I think looking at what sainthood requires in the Catholic church would put some perspective on what is should mean to be a saint. One is considered for sainthood only after death. The candidates life is scrutinized very carefully by the local bishop to make sure the life was pious and the teachings or writings of the candidate were doctrinally pure. The candidate is then referred to a council at the Vatican for consideration, and after this group agrees that the candidate is worthy, the individual is considered "venerable" and eligible for the second step. "Beatification" of a candidate is achieved when one miracle occurs after death that can be attributed to the candidate as a response to prayers offered to that individual, and then the candidate can be venerated on a regional basis. Only after a second miracle is attributed to the candidate can the individual be "canonized" and venerated by the entire Catholic church.
I do not believe in praying to the dead in Christ, and I believe miracles are only attributable to Christ. Theological differences aside, a Catholic can be a priest, bishop, cardinal, or even the Pope, and never even be considered to be a saint. Meanwhile, we talk about saints as if anyone who has their name on a church role book can carry the title. Sainthood should be a life-long pursuit that carries the most serious responsibility in winning the lost world for Christ.
In future posts, I will be sharing the results of a study on the priesthood of New Testament believers, as I believe this will help everyday, extraordinary saints carry out spiritual, biblical leadership in the home, school, work, and community spheres of life; after all, those are the areas of life where all the lost and hurting reside, right?
(information on Catholic priesthood was obtained from http://www.catholic.org/saints/faq.php#choose)
However, the real question is who should be the focus? Is the church's role to produce outstanding apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers? Most certainly, the church that is alive and producing fruit will identify and train those upon whom these gifts and callings rest. But the mandate to the church is to create disciples, or saints, and I think we sometimes turn the picture upside down and backwards.
Consider this: The word "saint" or "saints" appears in the Bible 101 times in the King James version of the Bible, with definitions including holy, holy one, pious, godly, and good. The book of Psalms has the most mentions of the word "saints", as this is the group that is exhorted over and over again to worship and fear God throughout the holy songs of Israel.
While I am not Catholic, I think looking at what sainthood requires in the Catholic church would put some perspective on what is should mean to be a saint. One is considered for sainthood only after death. The candidates life is scrutinized very carefully by the local bishop to make sure the life was pious and the teachings or writings of the candidate were doctrinally pure. The candidate is then referred to a council at the Vatican for consideration, and after this group agrees that the candidate is worthy, the individual is considered "venerable" and eligible for the second step. "Beatification" of a candidate is achieved when one miracle occurs after death that can be attributed to the candidate as a response to prayers offered to that individual, and then the candidate can be venerated on a regional basis. Only after a second miracle is attributed to the candidate can the individual be "canonized" and venerated by the entire Catholic church.
I do not believe in praying to the dead in Christ, and I believe miracles are only attributable to Christ. Theological differences aside, a Catholic can be a priest, bishop, cardinal, or even the Pope, and never even be considered to be a saint. Meanwhile, we talk about saints as if anyone who has their name on a church role book can carry the title. Sainthood should be a life-long pursuit that carries the most serious responsibility in winning the lost world for Christ.
In future posts, I will be sharing the results of a study on the priesthood of New Testament believers, as I believe this will help everyday, extraordinary saints carry out spiritual, biblical leadership in the home, school, work, and community spheres of life; after all, those are the areas of life where all the lost and hurting reside, right?
(information on Catholic priesthood was obtained from http://www.catholic.org/saints/faq.php#choose)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Truth
Truth
How do you worship with a timbrel? You shake it ‘til it rings.
And how do you worship with a song, if its words, you do not sing?
How do you worship with the Spirit, if not through strength and mind,
And how do you worship with the Truth? With God’s intentions, well defined.
How can someone be Jesus’ hands, and mouth, and feet?
By reaching out, walking far, and speaking no deceit.
By giving away as He has given everything to you,
Because His Truth is demonstrated in everything you do.
How do we show God’s love in a world of angst and hate?
Can’t we just learn to get along, let our differences dissipate?
It’s true the Lord wants all of us to learn to live in peace,
But Truth demands a choice from us: devotion that does not cease.
We can wear our names, and tags, and titles, imply what we believe.
Make it someone else’s fault; our vague intentions not received.
We can smile and speak with pleasant words, make love merely a token,
But Truth is only Truth if it is kindly, boldly, spoken.
Inspired by John 4:23-24: But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
And Hebrews 2:3: How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him…
And Psalm 51:6: Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden [part] thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
How do you worship with a timbrel? You shake it ‘til it rings.
And how do you worship with a song, if its words, you do not sing?
How do you worship with the Spirit, if not through strength and mind,
And how do you worship with the Truth? With God’s intentions, well defined.
How can someone be Jesus’ hands, and mouth, and feet?
By reaching out, walking far, and speaking no deceit.
By giving away as He has given everything to you,
Because His Truth is demonstrated in everything you do.
How do we show God’s love in a world of angst and hate?
Can’t we just learn to get along, let our differences dissipate?
It’s true the Lord wants all of us to learn to live in peace,
But Truth demands a choice from us: devotion that does not cease.
We can wear our names, and tags, and titles, imply what we believe.
Make it someone else’s fault; our vague intentions not received.
We can smile and speak with pleasant words, make love merely a token,
But Truth is only Truth if it is kindly, boldly, spoken.
Inspired by John 4:23-24: But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
And Hebrews 2:3: How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him…
And Psalm 51:6: Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden [part] thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
A note for Sunday Morning, 11/28/10
Communication is key. Never have I been more aware of this fact than I have in the past year. With some important and difficult changes that have occurred, communication with family, friends, supervisors, and ministry leaders has been vital to success in every area of life.
Communication with Jesus is of the utmost importance. Just as speaking and listening are the basic tasks in human communication, so they are in communication with the Almighty.
"The call", as it is known, is a divine appointment from Christ to take a high place in His work. The success of the call depends on the quality of the communication! Not only does Jesus have to be speaking, YOU have to be listening!
Pursuing the call is a life-long process. Mistakes are to be expected, missteps will occur. What is important is: are you listening? Are you making course-corrections when necessary? A day, a week, a month, or even a year of struggle or mistakes will not define the call that God has for you. There are consequences for every decision of course, but the only inexcusable mistake is to not take time to seek God and listen to His voice.
Communication with Jesus is of the utmost importance. Just as speaking and listening are the basic tasks in human communication, so they are in communication with the Almighty.
"The call", as it is known, is a divine appointment from Christ to take a high place in His work. The success of the call depends on the quality of the communication! Not only does Jesus have to be speaking, YOU have to be listening!
Pursuing the call is a life-long process. Mistakes are to be expected, missteps will occur. What is important is: are you listening? Are you making course-corrections when necessary? A day, a week, a month, or even a year of struggle or mistakes will not define the call that God has for you. There are consequences for every decision of course, but the only inexcusable mistake is to not take time to seek God and listen to His voice.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Weekly Dispatch, 11/22/10
This is the text of a weekly email i have started sending to the employees on my crisis team at Youth Villages. I'll be glad to send it to you weekly as well if you can forward me an email address or friend me on Facebook and request it. Not everything will be original, but I endeavor to put my own thoughts into it (I already realize how hard it is going to be to do this every week, but whatever I put out will be properly attributed and exceedingly encouraging! )
Defining Moments "... the choice you make, makes you." Coach John Wooden
We've all had defining moments in our lives. It’s what we do with them that counts.
- REFLECT on defining moments of the past: Successes and failures of the past provide some of the most valuable life lessons. It is a mistake to neglect reflection. Reflection requires time we often can't seem to find in our daily lives. Journaling allows for organizing thoughts on past events, what occurred, your thoughts about it, and lessons learned from it.
- PREPARE for defining moments of the future: Day dreaming is also something neglected in daily life, but possibility thinking is important for making tomorrow better than today. I had the chance to do this as I was driving back from a call last week. Our hard work in our personal, family, social, professional, spiritual lives finds worth and gains new traction when we can picture the end result and enjoy it ahead of time.
- MAKE the most of defining moments in the present: When we reflect on the past and prepare for the future, we are better able to recognize and capitalize on opportunities in the present. As people who dedicate our lives to making a difference, the present is where the rubber meets the road and positive change occurs. That's true for our clients, our families, and ourselves.
Understanding that we are made, as individuals, through a series of these defining moments can make even the most negative and painful periods of life have meaning and value.
(The preceding points are based on Chapter 3, "Defining Moments Define your Leadership", of John Maxwell's book, Leadership Gold. The comments are mine.)
Married with children...
Marriage is God’s covenant between man and woman. It is sacred on its own as an institution of God. Many marriages yield children that become the center of all attention and energy, leaving a floundering marriage relationship.
When adults allow this to happen, they rarely consider that trying to preserve children at the expense of the marriage that formed them is like “throwing the baby out with the bath water.”
The single most important act that parents can perform for their children’s emotional, social, and relational health is to provide them with a healthy marriage and home in which to grow. How else are they going to learn how to have strong, healthy relationships?
Besides, there is life after children. When the nest is empty, the joy of having children is seeing them go forward in adult life and be fulfilled in their intimate relationships.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A note for Sunday Morning, 11/21/10
God is concerned with righteousness, judgment, and justice. Being right, dealing right, living right, being in right relationship with Him and with fellow men and women.
Kingdom Righteousness is important. Consider the following scriptures:
Isaiah 9:6-7: For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of [his] government and peace [there shall be] no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.
God's kingdom is order with judgment and justice. Judgment (mishpat) is known as performing or executing justice, fairness, rectitude, proper actions or decisions. Justice (tsedaqah) is more commonly translated "righteousness" and refers to God's attribute of righteousness as well as truthfulness, ethical behavior, vindication, justification, or salvation.
Romans 14:17-18: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ [is] acceptable to God, and approved of men.
Righteousness- broadly, the state of being as one ought to be; narrowly, justice or the virtue that gives each what he is due.
Peace- state of national or individual tranquility, harmony between individuals, security, safety, or prosperity.
Joy- gladness, given by one person to another, or speaking of the people that provide one with joy.
Serving Christ in these three areas is mentioned by Paul as what makes us acceptable to God and approved of by men.
Matthew 6:10: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.
The first two scriptures define the kingdom in the terms of what Christ's spiritual kingdom is now and what it is to be at His return. Thus they shed light on what the prayer means when it asks that the kingdom of Christ come, and that the will of Christ be done.
Christ communicated in 2 ways: he preached explicitly and he demonstrated with His life implicitly.
What is the church to preach explicitly? The Gospel and the plan of salvation, and those things that tend to peace and holiness, "without which no man shall see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14)
What is the church to live out implicitly? The doing of righteousness judgment, and justice that is concerned with appropriateness in our relationships to the people, institutions, laws, needs, and problems of our world and our time.
(scriptures are from the KJV; word defintions are from Strong's Concordance Hebrew and Greek Dictionary)
Kingdom Righteousness is important. Consider the following scriptures:
Isaiah 9:6-7: For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of [his] government and peace [there shall be] no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.
God's kingdom is order with judgment and justice. Judgment (mishpat) is known as performing or executing justice, fairness, rectitude, proper actions or decisions. Justice (tsedaqah) is more commonly translated "righteousness" and refers to God's attribute of righteousness as well as truthfulness, ethical behavior, vindication, justification, or salvation.
Romans 14:17-18: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ [is] acceptable to God, and approved of men.
Righteousness- broadly, the state of being as one ought to be; narrowly, justice or the virtue that gives each what he is due.
Peace- state of national or individual tranquility, harmony between individuals, security, safety, or prosperity.
Joy- gladness, given by one person to another, or speaking of the people that provide one with joy.
Serving Christ in these three areas is mentioned by Paul as what makes us acceptable to God and approved of by men.
Matthew 6:10: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.
The first two scriptures define the kingdom in the terms of what Christ's spiritual kingdom is now and what it is to be at His return. Thus they shed light on what the prayer means when it asks that the kingdom of Christ come, and that the will of Christ be done.
Christ communicated in 2 ways: he preached explicitly and he demonstrated with His life implicitly.
What is the church to preach explicitly? The Gospel and the plan of salvation, and those things that tend to peace and holiness, "without which no man shall see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14)
What is the church to live out implicitly? The doing of righteousness judgment, and justice that is concerned with appropriateness in our relationships to the people, institutions, laws, needs, and problems of our world and our time.
(scriptures are from the KJV; word defintions are from Strong's Concordance Hebrew and Greek Dictionary)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sweet Compliance!
I taught parenting for over a year and have worked directly with parents and children for a total of nearly 4 years now in dealing with psychiatric and behavioral problems. Here are some things I have recommended to parents in gaining compliance:
Remember three keys to discipline: present clear rules, rewards, and consequences; monitor for compliance; enforce consistently. Positive reinforcement is as important when there is compliance, as punishment is when there is lack of compliance.
Set boundaries, but allow the child some freedom and choice within those boundaries: "Your room must be cleaned by the end of the week; how and when are up to you." Remember that children feel more comfortable when they have some control, but that there is really very few situations where they can exert any control.
Model the action and affect you want to see. Work along side your child until they know what you want from them. Use your own calm presence to calm the child at times when he may be raging, so that he takes his cues from you, rather than taking your cues from him (retaliating with screaming or severe punishment).
Use the child's natural momentum at times when he is being compliant to get the most from him in terms of doing tasks that are important to you.
When your child presents a problem (which usually comes in the form of a complaint), give him room to express himself without trying to solve or correct anything. Use active listening.
Allow plenty of free play and expression. You can learn a lot from watching, and it gives the child the opportunity to choose how they spend that time. Don't worry about structuring everything.
Allow natural consequences and disappointments to teach children hard lessons- just be there to help put it all in perspective.
Remember three keys to discipline: present clear rules, rewards, and consequences; monitor for compliance; enforce consistently. Positive reinforcement is as important when there is compliance, as punishment is when there is lack of compliance.
Set boundaries, but allow the child some freedom and choice within those boundaries: "Your room must be cleaned by the end of the week; how and when are up to you." Remember that children feel more comfortable when they have some control, but that there is really very few situations where they can exert any control.
Model the action and affect you want to see. Work along side your child until they know what you want from them. Use your own calm presence to calm the child at times when he may be raging, so that he takes his cues from you, rather than taking your cues from him (retaliating with screaming or severe punishment).
Use the child's natural momentum at times when he is being compliant to get the most from him in terms of doing tasks that are important to you.
When your child presents a problem (which usually comes in the form of a complaint), give him room to express himself without trying to solve or correct anything. Use active listening.
Allow plenty of free play and expression. You can learn a lot from watching, and it gives the child the opportunity to choose how they spend that time. Don't worry about structuring everything.
Allow natural consequences and disappointments to teach children hard lessons- just be there to help put it all in perspective.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Nourished Up in the Lord
Ephesians 6:4- And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
“Bring up”- 1) to nourish up to maturity, to nourish, 2) to nurture, bring up
The scripture commands parents to nourish their children up to maturity.
What are some of the challenges to nourishing up children today? In times past? How have the challenges affected you as a parent or someone with parents?
“Nurture”- 1) instruction which aims at increasing virtue, 2) chastisement, chastening
Nurture refers to a child’s education in virtue and correction for wrongdoing. What are things that only a parent can teach to his/her children? What have you learned from your parents that only they could teach?
“Admonition”- admonition, exhortation
Admonition includes words that are spoken to encourage and build up. What are words that really encourage you? What can you say daily to your children or others that would build up and encourage them?
“…in the nurture and admonition of the Lord…”
“In” may also be translated “with” “by” or “among”. This makes it clear that nurture and admonition comes from the Lord and is needed to raise Godly, successful children. Modern or fashionable parenting methods will not work in the world we live in today.
If your parents did not nourish you up in the Lord, or if you have not brought up your children to fear God, it is not too late. As we pray, share with a neighbor what God is leading you to do to change the course of your family’s future.
Harnesses? Really? Get a grip.
by Glen Gaugh on Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 12:25am
These child harnesses and leashes really make the point to me that attachment is easier bought than created.
Here's a list, though possibly incomplete, of ways to build real attachment.
Positive reinforcement, setting limits, clear expectations, age-appropriate talk and activities, hugging, pet names, pats on the back, random acts of kindness, unconditional positive regard, age-appropriate discipline, smiling, quality time, rewards, consistency, positive socialization, family togetherness, protection from harsh realities, honesty, time, love, kisses, bedtime routines, stories, listening, going crazy in a fun and safe way, saying no and meaning it every time, saying yes when possible and meaning it every time.
That should get us all started!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
A Legacy of Devotion
I have been reading much recently about our past US Presidents, and a story stands out to me concerning our 18th president, Ulysses S. Grant.
His retirement from the Presidency came in 1877. Wishing to retire with his family and pursue business interests, Grant believed he was financially secure. However, a botched business deal he participated in with a family member, resulted in a state of poverty. Grant also realized that he was dying of terminal throat cancer, and now feared he would leave his family penniless with no provision beyond his death.
Grant had secured a deal with Mark Twain to write his memoirs prior to this, but with no money, he set out to write his recollections on his own. Racing against the clock of his own mortality, Grant finished his memoirs in 1885, only days before passing away. The sale of his work brought the family $450,000, which along with Ms. Grant's pension, allowed her and her children and grandchildren to live comfortably.
I can only imagine the pain and terror of a man who feared that his family would be distraught and destitute after his death. Grant's devotion to his family allowed him to make the way for their security beyond his own life and ability to provide.
And so, first of all, will I have enough material in my life to leave behind the legacy I want to leave for my wife and children? Grant's life and triumphs filled the memoirs that successfully provided the income his family needed; but more than this, his wife, Julia Dent Grant, stated, "The light of his glorious fame still reaches out to me, falls upon me, and warms me."
Secondly, will I have the devotion, wisdom, and foresight to provide now for my family what they will need when I am gone? I pray to God that I do.
Information on Grant and his wife came from http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/presidents/ulyssessgrant and http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/first-ladies/juliagrant, as well as Let Us Have Peace: The Presidency of Ulysses S. Grant, at http://teachingamericanhistorymd.net/000001/000000/000128/html/t128.html.
His retirement from the Presidency came in 1877. Wishing to retire with his family and pursue business interests, Grant believed he was financially secure. However, a botched business deal he participated in with a family member, resulted in a state of poverty. Grant also realized that he was dying of terminal throat cancer, and now feared he would leave his family penniless with no provision beyond his death.
Grant had secured a deal with Mark Twain to write his memoirs prior to this, but with no money, he set out to write his recollections on his own. Racing against the clock of his own mortality, Grant finished his memoirs in 1885, only days before passing away. The sale of his work brought the family $450,000, which along with Ms. Grant's pension, allowed her and her children and grandchildren to live comfortably.
I can only imagine the pain and terror of a man who feared that his family would be distraught and destitute after his death. Grant's devotion to his family allowed him to make the way for their security beyond his own life and ability to provide.
And so, first of all, will I have enough material in my life to leave behind the legacy I want to leave for my wife and children? Grant's life and triumphs filled the memoirs that successfully provided the income his family needed; but more than this, his wife, Julia Dent Grant, stated, "The light of his glorious fame still reaches out to me, falls upon me, and warms me."
Secondly, will I have the devotion, wisdom, and foresight to provide now for my family what they will need when I am gone? I pray to God that I do.
Information on Grant and his wife came from http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/presidents/ulyssessgrant and http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/first-ladies/juliagrant, as well as Let Us Have Peace: The Presidency of Ulysses S. Grant, at http://teachingamericanhistorymd.net/000001/000000/000128/html/t128.html.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
A note for Sunday morning, 11/14/10
There are two things about you and me that are eternal- our souls and our purpose. Success or failure in achieving our God-given purpose will ring throughout eternity, as our souls will live for eternity in God's heaven or Satan's hell.
God really is the only one who knows what we are and what we are to become- our present reality, and our future possibility. Gene Edwards asserts in A Tale of Three Kings that many of us are David's who are following Saul's, yet none of us have the wisdom or knowledge that God has to know for sure if our present leader is actually a Saul, or if he is a David in waiting. In fact, we have to beware, because we also do not know if we ourselves are actually David's, or Saul's. The difference is made in terms of brokenness and humility. To think we know someone better than God, while denying our own sins and shortcomings is not brokenness. But realizing we know little about what someone else is in God's eyes, and knowing that God has more in store for each one of us than we are capable of realizing on our own, while recognizing the agonizing truth of the reality we find ourselves in right now- this is brokenness, full dedication to following God's purpose, and true salvation for the soul and the eternal purpose that God has called each of us to realize.
Jesus, help us to understand our reality and our possibility in You. Amen.
God really is the only one who knows what we are and what we are to become- our present reality, and our future possibility. Gene Edwards asserts in A Tale of Three Kings that many of us are David's who are following Saul's, yet none of us have the wisdom or knowledge that God has to know for sure if our present leader is actually a Saul, or if he is a David in waiting. In fact, we have to beware, because we also do not know if we ourselves are actually David's, or Saul's. The difference is made in terms of brokenness and humility. To think we know someone better than God, while denying our own sins and shortcomings is not brokenness. But realizing we know little about what someone else is in God's eyes, and knowing that God has more in store for each one of us than we are capable of realizing on our own, while recognizing the agonizing truth of the reality we find ourselves in right now- this is brokenness, full dedication to following God's purpose, and true salvation for the soul and the eternal purpose that God has called each of us to realize.
Jesus, help us to understand our reality and our possibility in You. Amen.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Justice, Simply
by Glen Gaugh on Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at 4:51am
Justice simply is doing right. So what is right? The answer is both debatable and absolute at the same time.
"Debatable" if you believe in no absolute sense of right and wrong; if you don't believe in absolute truth that comes from someone greater than yourself; if you acknowledge such a truth, yet do not abide by it, especially when situations make it so easy to bend or even break the rules. All you have in this case are the treaties you make with others on how you agree to let them treat you, and on how you agree to treat them. For example, parents decide all the time that it is either ok to abuse their children, or let their children abuse them.
"Absolute" if you believe that there is an absolute truth, from someone greater than you, that is knowable and doable with clear understanding. Without having the number handy right at this moment, it is shown that children who grow up with a strong belief system, no matter what is taught in that system, grow up stronger, more confident, and with fewer long-term effects of trauma or loss than those who grow up with no strong belief system. The belief in Christ and the Bible is, to me, the most consistent and compatible with doing right toward God and others. For example, "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," and, "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
In all honesty, everyone beliefs in absolute truth. Even the statement, "There is no absolute truth" becomes an absolute truth the moment it is uttered. It is an absolute truth, however, that offers no help and no satisfaction to anyone who holds to it. The substantiated historical claims of the Bible, the attested-to spiritual freedom and blessings of the Spirit of Christ, and the lived prosperity of those who live in a land where basic Biblical principles are still the foundation for the rights and government of its people, all speak to the unified message of hope and salvation that Jesus Christ offers.
And demonstrates that the true way to give and receive justice was authored by God himself.
"Debatable" if you believe in no absolute sense of right and wrong; if you don't believe in absolute truth that comes from someone greater than yourself; if you acknowledge such a truth, yet do not abide by it, especially when situations make it so easy to bend or even break the rules. All you have in this case are the treaties you make with others on how you agree to let them treat you, and on how you agree to treat them. For example, parents decide all the time that it is either ok to abuse their children, or let their children abuse them.
"Absolute" if you believe that there is an absolute truth, from someone greater than you, that is knowable and doable with clear understanding. Without having the number handy right at this moment, it is shown that children who grow up with a strong belief system, no matter what is taught in that system, grow up stronger, more confident, and with fewer long-term effects of trauma or loss than those who grow up with no strong belief system. The belief in Christ and the Bible is, to me, the most consistent and compatible with doing right toward God and others. For example, "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," and, "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
In all honesty, everyone beliefs in absolute truth. Even the statement, "There is no absolute truth" becomes an absolute truth the moment it is uttered. It is an absolute truth, however, that offers no help and no satisfaction to anyone who holds to it. The substantiated historical claims of the Bible, the attested-to spiritual freedom and blessings of the Spirit of Christ, and the lived prosperity of those who live in a land where basic Biblical principles are still the foundation for the rights and government of its people, all speak to the unified message of hope and salvation that Jesus Christ offers.
And demonstrates that the true way to give and receive justice was authored by God himself.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
A note for Sunday morning...
by Glen Gaugh on Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 6:18am
I listened to Dennis Miller's radio show late one night, since that is when I am driving to and from work, and he had on a regular guest and friend of his, actor Orson Bean. I enjoy listening to this program, though it is a secular program, and one reason is that Dennis Miller often brings up religion and Christianity, stating that he is not born-again, but that he is a believer and a person of faith in God. Recognizing his guest as a Christian and one who has turned his life around from heavy alcohol use, he asked Mr. Bean about his religious beliefs and involvement. Mr. Bean stated that he was not a church-goer, and that he is much better able to connect with God in other contexts. However, the part of Christianity that really strikes him is the Cross, and that Christ died to save people who otherwise would be lost.
I hope we remember this today as we plan for worship and the Word today. All of our rallying for attendance and participation will mean little or nothing if we are not calling people to the Cross of Christ. Christ and the Cross are all that separate His believers from believers of any other religion. That our Savior died as an act of love for fallen man so that all might be saved- this is what every skeptic must grasp. Every atheist who spews hatred for religion, and every Pharisee that encourages such views of religion, needs to realize they are missing the point if they don't realize this is all about God loving us equally and desperately desiring a relationship with all of mankind. Jesus died on the Cross, the blood flows from the Cross, the Spirit was released from the Cross, there is room for all at the Cross, and we must die out to sin at the Cross in order to live.
I hope we remember this today as we plan for worship and the Word today. All of our rallying for attendance and participation will mean little or nothing if we are not calling people to the Cross of Christ. Christ and the Cross are all that separate His believers from believers of any other religion. That our Savior died as an act of love for fallen man so that all might be saved- this is what every skeptic must grasp. Every atheist who spews hatred for religion, and every Pharisee that encourages such views of religion, needs to realize they are missing the point if they don't realize this is all about God loving us equally and desperately desiring a relationship with all of mankind. Jesus died on the Cross, the blood flows from the Cross, the Spirit was released from the Cross, there is room for all at the Cross, and we must die out to sin at the Cross in order to live.
Doing Right by our Children
by Glen Gaugh on Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 2:57am
1 Kings 3:16.
Solomon's first demonstration of God's wisdom in him was in deciding a child custody suit. The two women brought a healthy, living son, each claiming to be the mother. Solomon's solution? Divide the child in half and give each woman a portion.
Did Solomon actually think that killing the child for the sake of giving each woman an equal portion was justice? Of course not. He knew that the true mother would make the tough decision necessary to save the child alive and do right by the child regardless of the personal sacrifice required. The woman that said, "No, save the child, I give it to the other woman," was the true mother.
Sacrifice is required to do right by our children, and the parent or caregiver who is willing to make sacrifices for the sake of their children is the one who deserves to have those children. This kind of sacrifice occurs too often today as relatives accept custody and responsibility for children they did not give birth to and never intended to raise, in order to save them from being "divided" by the system. Parents who raise children with behavioral, developmental, and mental health disorders also make hard choices everyday. These caregivers are doing justice by their children.
Luke 7:35 But wisdom is justified of all her children.
It is easy to forget why we sacrifice to do right by our children especially when times get tough and the cares and wrongs of the past come to the surface as bad behavior, disciplinary problems, temper tantrums, depression, anxiety, or regressive behavior. We get scared to death to find out our children try drugs or alcohol, self-mutilation, sexual behavior, fighting, threatening, or stealing as ways to try to get by. But we have to remember that that child is not yet what he is to become. Remember the following:
1. Every individual, group, family, and community has strengths (even yours!)
2. Trauma and abuse, illness and struggle, may be injurious, but they may also be sources of challenge and opportunity.
3. Assume that you do not know the upper limits of the capacity to grow and change. Take aspirations seriously.
4. We best serve our children by working with them.
5. Every environment is full of resources.
(From the principles of Dennis Saleeby's Strengths Perspective from the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare webpage, http://www.socwel.ku.edu/strengths/about/principles.shtml ).
Remembering these principles as we look at our children will help us remember why we do what we do for them. It will guide us to see the possibilities and to put them on the arc of development, rather than on the spiral of decline.
Even if we do not always have a crystal-clear picture of what our children are to become, we can be assured that our example in caring, encouraging, and modeling right living will pay off in the end. The wisdom of your sacrifice will be justified in your children in time.
(From a talk I gave to a group of relative caregivers in Madison County on October 7th, 2010.)
Solomon's first demonstration of God's wisdom in him was in deciding a child custody suit. The two women brought a healthy, living son, each claiming to be the mother. Solomon's solution? Divide the child in half and give each woman a portion.
Did Solomon actually think that killing the child for the sake of giving each woman an equal portion was justice? Of course not. He knew that the true mother would make the tough decision necessary to save the child alive and do right by the child regardless of the personal sacrifice required. The woman that said, "No, save the child, I give it to the other woman," was the true mother.
Sacrifice is required to do right by our children, and the parent or caregiver who is willing to make sacrifices for the sake of their children is the one who deserves to have those children. This kind of sacrifice occurs too often today as relatives accept custody and responsibility for children they did not give birth to and never intended to raise, in order to save them from being "divided" by the system. Parents who raise children with behavioral, developmental, and mental health disorders also make hard choices everyday. These caregivers are doing justice by their children.
Luke 7:35 But wisdom is justified of all her children.
It is easy to forget why we sacrifice to do right by our children especially when times get tough and the cares and wrongs of the past come to the surface as bad behavior, disciplinary problems, temper tantrums, depression, anxiety, or regressive behavior. We get scared to death to find out our children try drugs or alcohol, self-mutilation, sexual behavior, fighting, threatening, or stealing as ways to try to get by. But we have to remember that that child is not yet what he is to become. Remember the following:
1. Every individual, group, family, and community has strengths (even yours!)
2. Trauma and abuse, illness and struggle, may be injurious, but they may also be sources of challenge and opportunity.
3. Assume that you do not know the upper limits of the capacity to grow and change. Take aspirations seriously.
4. We best serve our children by working with them.
5. Every environment is full of resources.
(From the principles of Dennis Saleeby's Strengths Perspective from the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare webpage, http://www.socwel.ku.edu/strengths/about/principles.shtml ).
Remembering these principles as we look at our children will help us remember why we do what we do for them. It will guide us to see the possibilities and to put them on the arc of development, rather than on the spiral of decline.
Even if we do not always have a crystal-clear picture of what our children are to become, we can be assured that our example in caring, encouraging, and modeling right living will pay off in the end. The wisdom of your sacrifice will be justified in your children in time.
(From a talk I gave to a group of relative caregivers in Madison County on October 7th, 2010.)
The Importance of Family
by Glen Gaugh on Sunday, September 12, 2010 at 3:30am
Abram and Sarai had the greatest promise offered to them from God- that from their seed, God would create a great nation, numbering more than the sands of the sea or the stars of the sky. The problem came when Abram and Sarai became impatient and tampered with God’s plan. When Abram took Hagar to give him a child, God’s plan for His nation was violated. Also, God’s plan for the family was violated. Lack of faith in God allowed this family to be divided and produced an illegitimate child. The fruits of this decision are felt today, manifest in the current conflict in the Middle East between Isaac’s lineage and Ishmael’s.
Zacharias and Elisabeth had a great promise as well: their son would be the herald for the Messiah. The opportunity presented itself for this family to be divided by the opinions of other people and by their own insecurities. Zacharias expressed some doubt at the angel’s announcement and was struck dumb as a result. At the circumcision of the child, family and neighbors tried to call the child by his father’s name and were shocked when Elisabeth spoke up to say, “Not so- his name is John.” Zacharias could have, as head of the family, named the child by his own name, fitting the mold of tradition that the others were coming from. However, he obeyed the will of God and spelled it out plainly- the name of the prophet would be John.
The family is the most basic and important building block of the church, the community, and the society at large. Think about how many of your daily habits and interactions are influenced by your family. From your major beliefs about God, to the way you squeeze toothpaste from the tube, your family relationships and experience have created who you are as an individual. This perhaps impacts others around you profoundly more than your individual personality traits or personal inclinations. Unity of belief and action is vital to making sure your family is not divided. No matter what core beliefs are taught to us by our parents, it is the daily life and actions that we witnessed as children that have influenced us more than anything.
A few years ago, death claimed a father who spoke his faith in God strongly to his children and to anyone that came to his home to visit him. After his passing, one of his sons held tightly to a memento that his father left behind, and he promised he would always hold and cherish this particular item that was so much a part of his dad’s life. It was not his dad’s Bible, but his dad’s snuff can that was so cherished by this son. We can affirm that we believe the entire Bible, the whole of God’s truth; but it is the way we live this truth that creates the lens that our children, and even lost family members, will view the Bible and the church through. The family’s influence is so powerful that it impacts the view of an individual for the rest of their life. God’s Word testifies of this truth, and families throughout the years have proven it. This is the importance of family.
The ABC's of Spiritual Leadership
by Glen Gaugh on Sunday, March 21, 2010 at 4:12am
Advocate- stand up, speak out, proclaim.
Be where the need is; be prepared.
Call on the Lord.
Demand the best from yourself and others.
Educate yourself and others.
Follow the Holy Ghost.
Give all you've got.
Have the right spirit, motive, attitude.
Integrate all that you have in Christ Jesus- His Spirit, your skills, experience, trials, testimony.
Just do it!
Know who you are, whose you are, your responsibilities and limitations.
Love the Lord and people.
Motivate yourself and others.
Need the Lord in all His power.
Open the door of opportunity.
Plan and position yourself for the will of God.
Quiet yourself- hear God.
Respond to the need.
Stand firm.
Trust the Lord.
Understand the will of God.
Validate the call of God in your life and in others.
Work while it is day.
X ray vision- see through the junk.
Yearn for home- don't forget about Heaven!
Zero in- focus!
Be where the need is; be prepared.
Call on the Lord.
Demand the best from yourself and others.
Educate yourself and others.
Follow the Holy Ghost.
Give all you've got.
Have the right spirit, motive, attitude.
Integrate all that you have in Christ Jesus- His Spirit, your skills, experience, trials, testimony.
Just do it!
Know who you are, whose you are, your responsibilities and limitations.
Love the Lord and people.
Motivate yourself and others.
Need the Lord in all His power.
Open the door of opportunity.
Plan and position yourself for the will of God.
Quiet yourself- hear God.
Respond to the need.
Stand firm.
Trust the Lord.
Understand the will of God.
Validate the call of God in your life and in others.
Work while it is day.
X ray vision- see through the junk.
Yearn for home- don't forget about Heaven!
Zero in- focus!
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