Communication is key. Never have I been more aware of this fact than I have in the past year. With some important and difficult changes that have occurred, communication with family, friends, supervisors, and ministry leaders has been vital to success in every area of life.
Communication with Jesus is of the utmost importance. Just as speaking and listening are the basic tasks in human communication, so they are in communication with the Almighty.
"The call", as it is known, is a divine appointment from Christ to take a high place in His work. The success of the call depends on the quality of the communication! Not only does Jesus have to be speaking, YOU have to be listening!
Pursuing the call is a life-long process. Mistakes are to be expected, missteps will occur. What is important is: are you listening? Are you making course-corrections when necessary? A day, a week, a month, or even a year of struggle or mistakes will not define the call that God has for you. There are consequences for every decision of course, but the only inexcusable mistake is to not take time to seek God and listen to His voice.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Weekly Dispatch, 11/22/10
This is the text of a weekly email i have started sending to the employees on my crisis team at Youth Villages. I'll be glad to send it to you weekly as well if you can forward me an email address or friend me on Facebook and request it. Not everything will be original, but I endeavor to put my own thoughts into it (I already realize how hard it is going to be to do this every week, but whatever I put out will be properly attributed and exceedingly encouraging! )
Defining Moments "... the choice you make, makes you." Coach John Wooden
We've all had defining moments in our lives. It’s what we do with them that counts.
- REFLECT on defining moments of the past: Successes and failures of the past provide some of the most valuable life lessons. It is a mistake to neglect reflection. Reflection requires time we often can't seem to find in our daily lives. Journaling allows for organizing thoughts on past events, what occurred, your thoughts about it, and lessons learned from it.
- PREPARE for defining moments of the future: Day dreaming is also something neglected in daily life, but possibility thinking is important for making tomorrow better than today. I had the chance to do this as I was driving back from a call last week. Our hard work in our personal, family, social, professional, spiritual lives finds worth and gains new traction when we can picture the end result and enjoy it ahead of time.
- MAKE the most of defining moments in the present: When we reflect on the past and prepare for the future, we are better able to recognize and capitalize on opportunities in the present. As people who dedicate our lives to making a difference, the present is where the rubber meets the road and positive change occurs. That's true for our clients, our families, and ourselves.
Understanding that we are made, as individuals, through a series of these defining moments can make even the most negative and painful periods of life have meaning and value.
(The preceding points are based on Chapter 3, "Defining Moments Define your Leadership", of John Maxwell's book, Leadership Gold. The comments are mine.)
Married with children...
Marriage is God’s covenant between man and woman. It is sacred on its own as an institution of God. Many marriages yield children that become the center of all attention and energy, leaving a floundering marriage relationship.
When adults allow this to happen, they rarely consider that trying to preserve children at the expense of the marriage that formed them is like “throwing the baby out with the bath water.”
The single most important act that parents can perform for their children’s emotional, social, and relational health is to provide them with a healthy marriage and home in which to grow. How else are they going to learn how to have strong, healthy relationships?
Besides, there is life after children. When the nest is empty, the joy of having children is seeing them go forward in adult life and be fulfilled in their intimate relationships.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A note for Sunday Morning, 11/21/10
God is concerned with righteousness, judgment, and justice. Being right, dealing right, living right, being in right relationship with Him and with fellow men and women.
Kingdom Righteousness is important. Consider the following scriptures:
Isaiah 9:6-7: For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of [his] government and peace [there shall be] no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.
God's kingdom is order with judgment and justice. Judgment (mishpat) is known as performing or executing justice, fairness, rectitude, proper actions or decisions. Justice (tsedaqah) is more commonly translated "righteousness" and refers to God's attribute of righteousness as well as truthfulness, ethical behavior, vindication, justification, or salvation.
Romans 14:17-18: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ [is] acceptable to God, and approved of men.
Righteousness- broadly, the state of being as one ought to be; narrowly, justice or the virtue that gives each what he is due.
Peace- state of national or individual tranquility, harmony between individuals, security, safety, or prosperity.
Joy- gladness, given by one person to another, or speaking of the people that provide one with joy.
Serving Christ in these three areas is mentioned by Paul as what makes us acceptable to God and approved of by men.
Matthew 6:10: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.
The first two scriptures define the kingdom in the terms of what Christ's spiritual kingdom is now and what it is to be at His return. Thus they shed light on what the prayer means when it asks that the kingdom of Christ come, and that the will of Christ be done.
Christ communicated in 2 ways: he preached explicitly and he demonstrated with His life implicitly.
What is the church to preach explicitly? The Gospel and the plan of salvation, and those things that tend to peace and holiness, "without which no man shall see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14)
What is the church to live out implicitly? The doing of righteousness judgment, and justice that is concerned with appropriateness in our relationships to the people, institutions, laws, needs, and problems of our world and our time.
(scriptures are from the KJV; word defintions are from Strong's Concordance Hebrew and Greek Dictionary)
Kingdom Righteousness is important. Consider the following scriptures:
Isaiah 9:6-7: For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of [his] government and peace [there shall be] no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.
God's kingdom is order with judgment and justice. Judgment (mishpat) is known as performing or executing justice, fairness, rectitude, proper actions or decisions. Justice (tsedaqah) is more commonly translated "righteousness" and refers to God's attribute of righteousness as well as truthfulness, ethical behavior, vindication, justification, or salvation.
Romans 14:17-18: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ [is] acceptable to God, and approved of men.
Righteousness- broadly, the state of being as one ought to be; narrowly, justice or the virtue that gives each what he is due.
Peace- state of national or individual tranquility, harmony between individuals, security, safety, or prosperity.
Joy- gladness, given by one person to another, or speaking of the people that provide one with joy.
Serving Christ in these three areas is mentioned by Paul as what makes us acceptable to God and approved of by men.
Matthew 6:10: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.
The first two scriptures define the kingdom in the terms of what Christ's spiritual kingdom is now and what it is to be at His return. Thus they shed light on what the prayer means when it asks that the kingdom of Christ come, and that the will of Christ be done.
Christ communicated in 2 ways: he preached explicitly and he demonstrated with His life implicitly.
What is the church to preach explicitly? The Gospel and the plan of salvation, and those things that tend to peace and holiness, "without which no man shall see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14)
What is the church to live out implicitly? The doing of righteousness judgment, and justice that is concerned with appropriateness in our relationships to the people, institutions, laws, needs, and problems of our world and our time.
(scriptures are from the KJV; word defintions are from Strong's Concordance Hebrew and Greek Dictionary)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sweet Compliance!
I taught parenting for over a year and have worked directly with parents and children for a total of nearly 4 years now in dealing with psychiatric and behavioral problems. Here are some things I have recommended to parents in gaining compliance:
Remember three keys to discipline: present clear rules, rewards, and consequences; monitor for compliance; enforce consistently. Positive reinforcement is as important when there is compliance, as punishment is when there is lack of compliance.
Set boundaries, but allow the child some freedom and choice within those boundaries: "Your room must be cleaned by the end of the week; how and when are up to you." Remember that children feel more comfortable when they have some control, but that there is really very few situations where they can exert any control.
Model the action and affect you want to see. Work along side your child until they know what you want from them. Use your own calm presence to calm the child at times when he may be raging, so that he takes his cues from you, rather than taking your cues from him (retaliating with screaming or severe punishment).
Use the child's natural momentum at times when he is being compliant to get the most from him in terms of doing tasks that are important to you.
When your child presents a problem (which usually comes in the form of a complaint), give him room to express himself without trying to solve or correct anything. Use active listening.
Allow plenty of free play and expression. You can learn a lot from watching, and it gives the child the opportunity to choose how they spend that time. Don't worry about structuring everything.
Allow natural consequences and disappointments to teach children hard lessons- just be there to help put it all in perspective.
Remember three keys to discipline: present clear rules, rewards, and consequences; monitor for compliance; enforce consistently. Positive reinforcement is as important when there is compliance, as punishment is when there is lack of compliance.
Set boundaries, but allow the child some freedom and choice within those boundaries: "Your room must be cleaned by the end of the week; how and when are up to you." Remember that children feel more comfortable when they have some control, but that there is really very few situations where they can exert any control.
Model the action and affect you want to see. Work along side your child until they know what you want from them. Use your own calm presence to calm the child at times when he may be raging, so that he takes his cues from you, rather than taking your cues from him (retaliating with screaming or severe punishment).
Use the child's natural momentum at times when he is being compliant to get the most from him in terms of doing tasks that are important to you.
When your child presents a problem (which usually comes in the form of a complaint), give him room to express himself without trying to solve or correct anything. Use active listening.
Allow plenty of free play and expression. You can learn a lot from watching, and it gives the child the opportunity to choose how they spend that time. Don't worry about structuring everything.
Allow natural consequences and disappointments to teach children hard lessons- just be there to help put it all in perspective.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Nourished Up in the Lord
Ephesians 6:4- And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
“Bring up”- 1) to nourish up to maturity, to nourish, 2) to nurture, bring up
The scripture commands parents to nourish their children up to maturity.
What are some of the challenges to nourishing up children today? In times past? How have the challenges affected you as a parent or someone with parents?
“Nurture”- 1) instruction which aims at increasing virtue, 2) chastisement, chastening
Nurture refers to a child’s education in virtue and correction for wrongdoing. What are things that only a parent can teach to his/her children? What have you learned from your parents that only they could teach?
“Admonition”- admonition, exhortation
Admonition includes words that are spoken to encourage and build up. What are words that really encourage you? What can you say daily to your children or others that would build up and encourage them?
“…in the nurture and admonition of the Lord…”
“In” may also be translated “with” “by” or “among”. This makes it clear that nurture and admonition comes from the Lord and is needed to raise Godly, successful children. Modern or fashionable parenting methods will not work in the world we live in today.
If your parents did not nourish you up in the Lord, or if you have not brought up your children to fear God, it is not too late. As we pray, share with a neighbor what God is leading you to do to change the course of your family’s future.
Harnesses? Really? Get a grip.
by Glen Gaugh on Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 12:25am
These child harnesses and leashes really make the point to me that attachment is easier bought than created.
Here's a list, though possibly incomplete, of ways to build real attachment.
Positive reinforcement, setting limits, clear expectations, age-appropriate talk and activities, hugging, pet names, pats on the back, random acts of kindness, unconditional positive regard, age-appropriate discipline, smiling, quality time, rewards, consistency, positive socialization, family togetherness, protection from harsh realities, honesty, time, love, kisses, bedtime routines, stories, listening, going crazy in a fun and safe way, saying no and meaning it every time, saying yes when possible and meaning it every time.
That should get us all started!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
A Legacy of Devotion
I have been reading much recently about our past US Presidents, and a story stands out to me concerning our 18th president, Ulysses S. Grant.
His retirement from the Presidency came in 1877. Wishing to retire with his family and pursue business interests, Grant believed he was financially secure. However, a botched business deal he participated in with a family member, resulted in a state of poverty. Grant also realized that he was dying of terminal throat cancer, and now feared he would leave his family penniless with no provision beyond his death.
Grant had secured a deal with Mark Twain to write his memoirs prior to this, but with no money, he set out to write his recollections on his own. Racing against the clock of his own mortality, Grant finished his memoirs in 1885, only days before passing away. The sale of his work brought the family $450,000, which along with Ms. Grant's pension, allowed her and her children and grandchildren to live comfortably.
I can only imagine the pain and terror of a man who feared that his family would be distraught and destitute after his death. Grant's devotion to his family allowed him to make the way for their security beyond his own life and ability to provide.
And so, first of all, will I have enough material in my life to leave behind the legacy I want to leave for my wife and children? Grant's life and triumphs filled the memoirs that successfully provided the income his family needed; but more than this, his wife, Julia Dent Grant, stated, "The light of his glorious fame still reaches out to me, falls upon me, and warms me."
Secondly, will I have the devotion, wisdom, and foresight to provide now for my family what they will need when I am gone? I pray to God that I do.
Information on Grant and his wife came from http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/presidents/ulyssessgrant and http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/first-ladies/juliagrant, as well as Let Us Have Peace: The Presidency of Ulysses S. Grant, at http://teachingamericanhistorymd.net/000001/000000/000128/html/t128.html.
His retirement from the Presidency came in 1877. Wishing to retire with his family and pursue business interests, Grant believed he was financially secure. However, a botched business deal he participated in with a family member, resulted in a state of poverty. Grant also realized that he was dying of terminal throat cancer, and now feared he would leave his family penniless with no provision beyond his death.
Grant had secured a deal with Mark Twain to write his memoirs prior to this, but with no money, he set out to write his recollections on his own. Racing against the clock of his own mortality, Grant finished his memoirs in 1885, only days before passing away. The sale of his work brought the family $450,000, which along with Ms. Grant's pension, allowed her and her children and grandchildren to live comfortably.
I can only imagine the pain and terror of a man who feared that his family would be distraught and destitute after his death. Grant's devotion to his family allowed him to make the way for their security beyond his own life and ability to provide.
And so, first of all, will I have enough material in my life to leave behind the legacy I want to leave for my wife and children? Grant's life and triumphs filled the memoirs that successfully provided the income his family needed; but more than this, his wife, Julia Dent Grant, stated, "The light of his glorious fame still reaches out to me, falls upon me, and warms me."
Secondly, will I have the devotion, wisdom, and foresight to provide now for my family what they will need when I am gone? I pray to God that I do.
Information on Grant and his wife came from http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/presidents/ulyssessgrant and http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/first-ladies/juliagrant, as well as Let Us Have Peace: The Presidency of Ulysses S. Grant, at http://teachingamericanhistorymd.net/000001/000000/000128/html/t128.html.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
A note for Sunday morning, 11/14/10
There are two things about you and me that are eternal- our souls and our purpose. Success or failure in achieving our God-given purpose will ring throughout eternity, as our souls will live for eternity in God's heaven or Satan's hell.
God really is the only one who knows what we are and what we are to become- our present reality, and our future possibility. Gene Edwards asserts in A Tale of Three Kings that many of us are David's who are following Saul's, yet none of us have the wisdom or knowledge that God has to know for sure if our present leader is actually a Saul, or if he is a David in waiting. In fact, we have to beware, because we also do not know if we ourselves are actually David's, or Saul's. The difference is made in terms of brokenness and humility. To think we know someone better than God, while denying our own sins and shortcomings is not brokenness. But realizing we know little about what someone else is in God's eyes, and knowing that God has more in store for each one of us than we are capable of realizing on our own, while recognizing the agonizing truth of the reality we find ourselves in right now- this is brokenness, full dedication to following God's purpose, and true salvation for the soul and the eternal purpose that God has called each of us to realize.
Jesus, help us to understand our reality and our possibility in You. Amen.
God really is the only one who knows what we are and what we are to become- our present reality, and our future possibility. Gene Edwards asserts in A Tale of Three Kings that many of us are David's who are following Saul's, yet none of us have the wisdom or knowledge that God has to know for sure if our present leader is actually a Saul, or if he is a David in waiting. In fact, we have to beware, because we also do not know if we ourselves are actually David's, or Saul's. The difference is made in terms of brokenness and humility. To think we know someone better than God, while denying our own sins and shortcomings is not brokenness. But realizing we know little about what someone else is in God's eyes, and knowing that God has more in store for each one of us than we are capable of realizing on our own, while recognizing the agonizing truth of the reality we find ourselves in right now- this is brokenness, full dedication to following God's purpose, and true salvation for the soul and the eternal purpose that God has called each of us to realize.
Jesus, help us to understand our reality and our possibility in You. Amen.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Justice, Simply
by Glen Gaugh on Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at 4:51am
Justice simply is doing right. So what is right? The answer is both debatable and absolute at the same time.
"Debatable" if you believe in no absolute sense of right and wrong; if you don't believe in absolute truth that comes from someone greater than yourself; if you acknowledge such a truth, yet do not abide by it, especially when situations make it so easy to bend or even break the rules. All you have in this case are the treaties you make with others on how you agree to let them treat you, and on how you agree to treat them. For example, parents decide all the time that it is either ok to abuse their children, or let their children abuse them.
"Absolute" if you believe that there is an absolute truth, from someone greater than you, that is knowable and doable with clear understanding. Without having the number handy right at this moment, it is shown that children who grow up with a strong belief system, no matter what is taught in that system, grow up stronger, more confident, and with fewer long-term effects of trauma or loss than those who grow up with no strong belief system. The belief in Christ and the Bible is, to me, the most consistent and compatible with doing right toward God and others. For example, "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," and, "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
In all honesty, everyone beliefs in absolute truth. Even the statement, "There is no absolute truth" becomes an absolute truth the moment it is uttered. It is an absolute truth, however, that offers no help and no satisfaction to anyone who holds to it. The substantiated historical claims of the Bible, the attested-to spiritual freedom and blessings of the Spirit of Christ, and the lived prosperity of those who live in a land where basic Biblical principles are still the foundation for the rights and government of its people, all speak to the unified message of hope and salvation that Jesus Christ offers.
And demonstrates that the true way to give and receive justice was authored by God himself.
"Debatable" if you believe in no absolute sense of right and wrong; if you don't believe in absolute truth that comes from someone greater than yourself; if you acknowledge such a truth, yet do not abide by it, especially when situations make it so easy to bend or even break the rules. All you have in this case are the treaties you make with others on how you agree to let them treat you, and on how you agree to treat them. For example, parents decide all the time that it is either ok to abuse their children, or let their children abuse them.
"Absolute" if you believe that there is an absolute truth, from someone greater than you, that is knowable and doable with clear understanding. Without having the number handy right at this moment, it is shown that children who grow up with a strong belief system, no matter what is taught in that system, grow up stronger, more confident, and with fewer long-term effects of trauma or loss than those who grow up with no strong belief system. The belief in Christ and the Bible is, to me, the most consistent and compatible with doing right toward God and others. For example, "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," and, "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
In all honesty, everyone beliefs in absolute truth. Even the statement, "There is no absolute truth" becomes an absolute truth the moment it is uttered. It is an absolute truth, however, that offers no help and no satisfaction to anyone who holds to it. The substantiated historical claims of the Bible, the attested-to spiritual freedom and blessings of the Spirit of Christ, and the lived prosperity of those who live in a land where basic Biblical principles are still the foundation for the rights and government of its people, all speak to the unified message of hope and salvation that Jesus Christ offers.
And demonstrates that the true way to give and receive justice was authored by God himself.
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