Fatherhood is... part 2

Fatherhood is generative.

Generative is a term that was coined in a study by Dollahite, Hawkins, and Brotherson (1997) (1) in their research to develop a strengths- and responsibility-based framework for fathering.  Basically, "generative" means being concerned for developing the next generation through effective fathering. Here are some of the key points from this framework:

• Relationship work (working to create a healthy relationship)
• Stewardship work (providing for the physical needs and safety of children)
• Development work (changing to meet changing needs)
• Ethical work (teaching children values and helping them to relate with others in moral ways)
• Spiritual work (working to help child obtain purpose and joy)
• Recreation work (helping children relax and have fun)
• Mentoring work (Helping older children learn skills to be a successful parent) (2)

Deuteronomy 6:1-9 illustrates the biblical mandate to be generative as parents.  Fathers in particular have a responsibility to build the next generation.  According to Ken Canfield in They Call Me Dad (2005) (3), fathers are the "ancient paths" mentioned in Jeremiah 6:16 that children are to look to.  The state of fatherhood will have to change significantly to see generative work become a priority and a reality.

1. http://fatherwork.byu.edu/generativeFramework.htm
2. http://fatherwork.byu.edu/generativeDefined.htm
3. Ken Canfield, They Call Me Dad, Howard Publishing Company, 2005

Fatherhood is... part 1

Fatherhood is developmental.

As a part of research done for the National Center on Fathers and Families, a research study by Barnhill, Rubenstein, and Rocklin presents the following developmental tasks that should occur for fathers at conception, during pregnancy, and after the birth of a child:

1. Decision-making (to have a child)
2. Mourning (for loss of freedom)
3. Empathic responding (during pregnancy and labor)
4. Integrating the new baby into family life
5. Establishing new boundaries and differentiating from extended family
6. Synergizing (establishing new balance and improving on the first 5 tasks)

We think a lot about how the baby develops in the womb and how the mother changes as pregnancy progresses.  But there are changes in fathers as well that must be attended to.

Effective fathering is absent from the history of many men who themselves become fathers.  It is important to understand that growth and development can and should occur in preparation to become a father, and that fathers do not have to fall into a rut of poor fathering from their own past.

Change is possible and achievable to become the father your children need.